(This was the commencement speech I gave at the 2017 Graduation Ceremonies of Hercor College in Roxas City, Capiz last March 29)

Ms. Cristina Syching, Faculty and Staff of Hercor College, Parents, Guests, and most of all my dear graduates, good afternoon!

I’m pretty sure nobody here knows this, even your teachers when they invited me to speak here, but I have a secret.  My father was born in Sapian, Capiz so it is an honor for me to finally visit and speak where he was born.

I was blessed enough to have gone through four graduation ceremonies, and I’ve been wanting to speak at a graduation ceremony for years, so you could say I’ve done my research.  What I’ve found out is that most speakers would use the time they have onstage to give the students a message, giving them the secret to success.

But I am not like most speakers, so instead, I will spend my time on stage, telling you, my dear students, the secret to a great adobo.

What makes a great adobo?

Is it the marinade or combination of flavors?  Perhaps.  Do you make it with just pork?  Do you make it with just chicken or do you use both?  A beef or lamb adobo perhaps?  What about soy sauce?  To use or not to use, that is the question.  Now, perhaps the most important question of all, because we have a lovely array of vinegars in the Philippines, is what type of vinegar do we use? Believe it or not, the answer is whatever you want.  The only thing important is that you use good ingredients.

In front of me now, I see an array of great ingredients.  Does it matter if one graduates with a course in HRM, Criminal Justice, Computer Science, Business Administration or Education?  Not really.  By all accounts, you are all outstanding young men and women, hardworking and intelligent; hence you are graduating tonight.  You, combined with the fine education you have received here at Hercor, makes for a great combination of flavors.

What makes a great adobo?

Is it technique?  Perhaps.  Don’t stir the pot once you add your vinegar.  Do you brown the meat before or after you stew it? Do you let the adobo rest in the ref for a few days before eating it? Believe it or not, the answer is again whatever you want.  The only thing important is that you get to cook your adobo well.

In front of me now, are your parents and your teachers and staff.  Some of them are stricter than others.  Some of them maybe shout at you, while some are more malambing.  Some let you go out late at night while some require you to do chores at home.  Does it matter how they taught you?  Not really.  By all accounts, you are all here, healthy, safe, older, smarter and wiser.  You are the product of multiple, exceptional techniques.

So what then, truly makes a great adobo?

It is the smile on the diner’s face.  It is the revitalization they feel eating the adobo after a long, tiring day.  It is the joy they feel when they eat adobo with family and friends.  It is the calm they feel eating adobo when they are angry. It is the comfort they feel when they eat the adobo after having their heart broken. Yes, what is important about adobo is neither in the ingredients or the technique. You see, cooking adobo, is a Filipino act of kindness, an act of love.  That truly makes a great adobo.

Well, I guess I lied. Turns out, like the other graduation speakers everywhere else in this world, I am telling you the secret to success.  It is not wealth or fame.  It is neither focus nor skill.  It is not even bravado.  

It is kindness.

You see, to be kind is to be humble and respectful.  It is to realize that no matter what you know, you will never know everything.  That humility leads you to respect others, their knowledge, beliefs, opinions and culture.  That in turn leads you to learning more. It’ll lead you to come into any situation with an open mind and an open attitude, to be willing to listen and not just dictate, to realize that there are always at least two sides to every story. To be kind is to not just dictate that your way is better or your belief is correct and other’s beliefs are wrong. I’ve been cooking for over 13 years and I can tell you with all honesty that I know only a fraction of what needs to be learned in cuisine.  This is why I look forward to meeting people whether they can cook or not, to hear stories and learn techniques and ingredients. I don’t have to know it all.  I just need to respect and work with plenty of people with different and sometimes even opposing beliefs to achieve greatness.

To be kind is to be willing to serve.  It is to realize that thinking of others beyond yourself in no way affects your ability to succeed.  It will lead you to sacrifice, to work hard for your loved ones to give them a better life.  It leads you to find ways to serve others because your personal success can only be enhanced by your community’s success, your country’s success, your world’s success. Yes, my work is to host a TV show and cook in events and restaurants, but it doesn’t mean I cannot find my own way of helping our country succeed right? In fact, I can use my work to help uplift both our culture and our people. I just have to be willing to sacrifice, work hard and work with heart. Whenever I get a chance to cook abroad or in any interview or show, I try my best to shine a positive light on Filipinos and our culture.

Finally, to be kind is to share.  It is to realize that all our tools, our skills are best when used to bring joy.  It will lead you to be selfless in sharing whatever we have if it can help make others happy.  It will remove from your heart the need to step on others in order to succeed.  Never believe people when they say that you have to be ruthless to succeed.  The feelings and success brought about by underhanded methods and meanness are fleeting.  When you see the joy you bring to others, that feeling of success and fulfilment, I promise you, will be forever. If there is anything at all that you will remember from this speech, it is this. I can prove that you can achieve your lifelong dreams without stepping on anyone else.  When I was young I had several dreams, all of which seemed impossible to achieve.  I wanted to host my own cooking show, to cook Filipino food internationally, to meet and cook for Bea Alonzo, and to write my own book. Modesty aside, my young friends, I can tell you now that I was able to do all of them.  I was able to achieve those dreams without having to be mean, cutthroat or ruthless. I did not lie, cheat or steal. Don’t believe the hype.  Nice guys do finish first; they just have to work a little harder. But then again, the best ones do.

As you step out into the world tomorrow to begin your journey of seeking success, doing great things and changing the world, remember why you make an adobo in the first place.  Do you make an adobo to brag about the ingredients you have or the techniques you’ve mastered?  No.  You make adobo to feed people, to make their day and their world better.

Search the world now, both in the real world, on the news and especially on facebook, and you see a world filled with impatience, braggadocio, hatred, and disrespect.  Lives, cultures, opinions and beliefs are trampled upon at the expense of cheap laughter or social media likes and shares.

It is so easy to fall into this trap and ordinary people will just go with the flow, but you my dear students, are no ordinary people.  You are the world’s newest beacons of hope and so I will be expecting more from you.  We all are.  In whatever part of society you will be joining, you will be faced with plenty of adult decisions.  Do I do this thing that gives me more money or fame but will hurt other people in the process?  Why should I sacrifice for my country when so many other wouldn’t?  Should I be kind to people when they are all trying to hurt me?  Do I defend the truth even if it will mean people will hate me? When trying to answer these difficult questions, ask yourself why people cook adobo in the first place.

This world of ours is tired, angry and heart broken.

Starting tomorrow, I want you all to go out and cook them a great adobo.

I want you to be kind.

Thank you and good afternoon!